Hey, Iraq and Iran are set to chair the conference on disarmament. Really, this stuff absolutely defies parody. -A.D.
I'm gonna try to find a quieter place to work . . . like a highway overpass. - A.D.
That close to a goat comment could have scandalous implications about my sexual preference regarding animals. - Gabe K.
Go do that voodoo that you do so well! - G.K.
You're the epitome of sweetness, Laura. - G.K.
I have a new slave at work . . . it's like a little puppy. - Gabe K.
I'm close to a goat. - Gabe K.
I was impatient about the whole womb thing. Sure it's warm and you can relax all day, but where's the adventure? - Gabe K.
I keep my apartment saturated with distractions at all times... - C.H.
I'm glad you are a girl. I'm even more glad you're a cute girl. - E.M.
You're like selective Teflon. - E.M.
I cannot talk to you again. It is much too dangerous. - E.M.
Confusion overwhelms me. - A.M.
Tennis mimes! The world must know! - J.W.
Sometimes it's fun to be bad. - Gabe K.
I was looking forward to work today . . . until I got there. - Gabe K.
I think it's better not to accomplish much at work. - Gabe K.
I am such a good and dutiful daughter. - J.W.
I swear, you should write for a living. It's a travesty against humanity that you don't. - J.W.
For someone who does not like John M., you sure bring him up a lot. - A.M.
I know you always enjoy listenin' to my wisdom. - S.R.
You seem to be very confused. - S.R.
Frankly it's amazing I have the presence of mind to get out of the house in the mornings . . . when I'm older, I'm likely to lose my way under the covers. - E.M.
You're much too nice and good of a person to be immersed in anything but happy thoughts. - E.M.
Crap. I just gave you a compliment . . . Thats not supposed to happen. - S.R.
You cant use my schemes against me. - S.R.
You stink like a fish. - S.R.
Remember you are only physically a girl. - S.R.
There are parts of my brain that crank out random thoughts, and they don't always get verified by my official spokesman. - C.H.
I shall sit on my hands the entire afternoon, sneering at my moveabletype screen. - E.M.
I was about as much use as a chocolate fire guard today. - W.J.
There are some friends that always compliment and to keep the balance, there [are] others that need to insult . . . I fall into this category. - S.R.
Sometimes you are a vertiable firehose of info about you and your happenings . . . other times, it feels like I'm under a micropipette struggling to get even a microL of info. - E.M.
It's much more fun not to be apologetic. - E.M.
Have I ever told you that you are radiantly breathtaking? - C.T.
It is good to be a little crazy. - A.M.
You can be off your onion. I want to be off my rocker. - A.M.
Well, add this to thine happy pile. - W.J.
I'm Russian. Standing in line is part of my chromosome set. - A.D.
There's something cute about the sentence "i am evil" written in all lowercase. Really, I think it's an artistic statement . . . the juxtaposition of the meaning of the statement with the innocent presentation, almost surreal in its approach. It elicits an almost cathartic response in an audience well attuned to its bourgeois sensibilities. - C.H.
You make me feel like a more productive worker than I am. - C.H.
You are irresistable? - E.M.
If i'm not coming on strong enough, please let me know. - E.M.
I totally owned Dec. 27. I rock. - Gabe K.
Go! Run! Don't look back! They can't catch you . . . until you file in tomorrow like a good little cog. - Gabe K.
I've nearly got my flashing working. - Gabe K.
You broke one of Andrew's cardinal rules: Never throw away fries. Either he will eat them or they go home. - S.R.
You are a girl (physically speaking, that is.) - S.R.
Though you may not be generous with lies right now, you are miserly with truth. - C.H.
I decided to devote my thought to other things, like helping Amry make her movie about cicadas and writing nasty stuff on her fridge with those magnets . . . Something like "Why canst thou infect your 'unwholesome part'" and "I spit a spot of spittle." - C.H.
Nobody understands the words comin' out of your mouth. - S.R.
My tongue is burning like crazy. - P.W.
There will be no sleeping around in Andrew's den of lovin'. - S.R.
I'm shocked, shocked that a Democrat governor is considering raising taxes. - A.D.
I can't say I've ever had margaritas as a whole meal. - C.H.
If you ever call anyone a cad, they are more likely to laugh at you. - A.M.
I almost lost my hand to the evil sucking daemon. - S.R.
Spiderman is having me for dinner tonight. - W.J.
Words are ok, but they very rarely can truly express the soul. - A.M.
I think your other self thinks it's John Malkovich. - S.R.
Weddings are a beautiful act of devotion - the closest we can get to expressing love that is close to as strong as the love of God. - Gabe K.
I have to end this conversation. It is not that I don't like you, 'cuz i do, but I need to protect my sanity. - A.M.
Laura oozes sex appeal through every pore. - A.M.
You ooze sex appeal (through every pore), and we are all breathless around you. - E.M.
You stir mens' passions with your alluring beauty, evoking their deepest desires. - E.M.
I swear, from an outsider who doesn't know me, they'll think I hit on everyone! - E.M.
Forget the philosophical quotes. Forget trying to be witty or funny. My new goal is now to make you blush. - E.M.
I ignore you most of the time anyways. No one really knows what you are saying. - A.M.