Your sweet attempts to melt my cold cold heart are only partially successful. - E.M.
Anne loves you. And she says that you are a sexy animal. I have no idea what goes on in your house. - A.M.
You are officially my favorite non-relative female. - A.M.
God will punish me for flirting with you. You're just so . . . good. - E.M.
You just wait. I'll have worked every crappy job by the time I'm 40. Great job - Crappy job - Great job - Crappy job. Software Engineer - Sanitary Engineer - Lawyer - Janitor - Partner in a firm - Guy who cleans up chicken poop . . . I'm totally serious . . . I used to make fun of plumbers and where did Ed end up working? Plumbing company. Ed makes fun of Starbucks people for being stupid. Where does he work? Starbucks. I should make fun of Bill Gates or something: "Hah, he's only worth 46 billion?! Pffth! *shouts to the sky* You hear me!?! Only 46 billion!" *waits for the mon-ay to fall from the sky like mana* - E.M.
You know what'd be good for me? A complimenting phone service . . . a girl calls, pays like .50cents a minute or something, and I stay on the line and just compliment them and flirt with them. Max age 30. Min age 18! . . . I'd make girls feel better, maybe get some dates, and make some cash . . . With 46 billion dollars, I'm sure I can get that lifelong dream of flirt-line up and running.
Cost of incorporating business: $300.
Cost of running flirt-line a month: $1000
Hiring hot sounding males to flirt a day: $500
Getting sued by women who think you're stupid: Priceless - E.M.
Whattya have to do to make your list of "instant messages of the week?" - B.S.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. - P.D.
"Laura, Master of Used Quotes" - S.R.
"Laura, Master of Weird Obsessions" - S.R.
"Laura, Master of Being Traumatized by the Littlest Things." - S.R.
Have a wonderful Easter weekend. Revel in your sins being forgiven. - C.H.
The randomness and suddenness of your IM propelled me away from my desk at a precipitous angle. - E.M.
You are like a verbal Aikido master. - E.M.
Steve says you should write reviews on the side, and I agree. - C.H.
Thanks for listening - tune in next time for more ephemera from Ed's life. - E.M.
You already dug yourself a hole . . . so you might as well fall in and ask some to cover you up. - S.R.
How is your self-esteem level now? We need to have a real-time ticker of that, to see if we are doing any damage . . . We dont want to completely kill it. We will have to build it up again, so we can lower it again. - S.R.
We are really not lowering your self-esteem, we are just helping to keep it level. - S.R.
Andrew and Sri work like heck
To highlight all frivolous dreck.
The insults spew daily
(They work at it gaily.)
To keep Laura's ego in check. - S.R.
I made a blog . . . just for you, Laura. - Gabe K.
For the record, your webpage has kissing pictures on it and a rating of them. No more can you cover your mouth! - A.M.
Silence doesn't carry information so well. - C.H.
You provide endless entertainment. - D.J.
The uml is all that matters. - E.M.
I still made the software release today, so things are pretty good there. Now I just need to figure out how to empower the working class and bring about social revolution. Or maybe focus on getting girls and having fun - not sure which is better. - Gabe K.
My machine at work . . . doesn't have the same personality that my laptop does. It is cold and unfeeling. And is soiled by other users' home directories. And their pitiful applications with their graphical user interfaces. - S.S.
I'm thinking of forming a community of engineering Luddites. You can be the first member. - Gabe K.
Chivalry is for damsels in distress, not the dragons eating all my food. - A.M.
For someone who insists art's undefinable, he sure has an awful lot to say about it. - C.H.
Thanks for the blind moral support. - C.H.
Laura, you are perfect the way you are. - A.M.
It's almost as nice outside as you are. - E.M.