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It's . . . It's Green

Processed guacamole dip doesn't necessarily contain much avacado.

Now you know.

A Feminist Laura

I note with interest that the contraceptive debate has been placed in a glaringly misogynistic light.

On Monday, the Daily Mail reported that King's College London scientists had developed a "revolutionary" male Pill that could be taken on an as-needed basis . . .

The male Pill would also be hormone-free and, in theory, would allow women concerned about their own Pill's side effects to stop taking the female version.

The response has been resoundingly negative. I would rather not publish the actual text of the remarks on my blog, but suffice it to say that men are concerned that (1) the possible long-term side effects and, more tellingly, (2) that it will hamper their male sexuality.

How interesting that the male populace - while quite willing to ask their female counterparts to injest a hormone-manipulator with (1) demonstrable long-term side effects and (2) the clear-cut intent of suppressing feminine fertility - are unwilling to impose such things on themselves.

Just Adequite, Yo

Lindsey Lohan wrote a condolence letter. It is genius.

"I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career . . .

"Thank You, BE ADEQUITE.

I don't know what's more shocking: the fact that she was ignorant enough to publicize the letter without a proof-reader or the fact that the Long Island school system gave her straight A's.

In any case, I assume the letter provided sufficient confusion in the Altman household to temporarily distract them from their grief as they attempted to decipher it. Who knows? Maybe that was the point.

A Super Way To Go

Wearing Superman pajamas and covered with his Batman blanket, comic book illustrator Dave Cockrum died Sunday.

The 63-year-old overhauled the X-Men comic and helped popularize the relatively obscure Marvel Comics in the 1970s. He helped turn the title into a publishing sensation and major film franchise.

Drinking His Own Water

In a U.N. effort top-billed as President Bush's idea (in case the media responds poorly, I assume), Kim Jong Il will be forced to curb his French wine intake for a bit:

Experts said the effort _ being coordinated under the United Nations _ would be the first ever to curtail a specific category of goods not associated with military buildups or weapons designs, especially one so tailored to annoy a foreign leader . . .

Responding to North Korea's nuclear test Oct. 9, the U.N. Security Council voted to ban military supplies and weapons shipments _ sanctions already imposed by the United States. It also banned sales of luxury goods but so far has left each country to define such items. Japan included beef, caviar and fatty tuna, along with expensive cars, motorcycles, cameras and more. Many European nations are still working on their lists.

The U.S. list includes cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles, JetSkis, iPods, plasma televisions, and Segway scooters, among others.

Well, gee, I would hate to see all that merchandise gather cobwebs in shipping crates. Therefore, I offer my own house as temporary storage until Kim gets his act together. I will even beta test everything for free.

More Problems Than Solutions

The Telegraph is quite blasé about the alternative judicial system in the U.K.

Sharia, derived from several sources including the Koran, is applied to varying degrees in predominantly Muslim countries but it has no binding status in Britain.

Mr [Faizul Aqtab] Siddiqi predicted that there would be a formal network of Muslim courts within a decade.

How it is possible in a single egalitarian society to have two separate rules of law? If we aren't all judged by the same standards, how can we be bound by the same rules? And, on an individual basis, how do you know which court do you belong to? Must you officially declare which "law" you are bound by? Can you elect which court to be prosecuted in? Could I end more sentences with a preposition?

It's just a bad, bad idea. If there is to be a separate judicial system, there should be a separate legislature. And if there is to be a separate legislature, there may as well be a separate country. At a minimum, unblur the lines. Two different courts in the same country should not have jurisdiction over the same things.

As the World Turns

Would you get dizzy living in a spinning tower?

Time Residences, whose construction will start next June and end in the first quarter of 2009, will be "a building that moves with the power of the sun" to become "the only rotating residential structure on the planet," they said in a statement.

Sounds intriguing, but I get motion-sick playing an FPS!

Breathing with Two Lungs

I heard ABC news this morning explain that Pope Benedict XVI was traveling to Turkey in order to smooth things over with the Muslims.

Of course, the press got it wrong, so allow me to set the record straight. His travel intent is to effect a reconciliation with the Orthodox churches, to try and repair the schism from 1054 A.D. The schism was essentially political inasmuch as the cited doctrinal differences are so piddling as to barely exist.

This is huge moment in history. I have tremendous hope (and great optimism) that a reconciliation could occur within my very lifetime! How amazing would that be?!?

"I Didn't Object Because I Wasn't . . ."

The Chicago Christkindlmarket has no room for Christ:

Officials have asked organizers of a downtown Christmas festival, the German Christkindlmarket, to reconsider using a movie studio as a sponsor because it is worried ads for its film "The Nativity Story" might offend non-Christians . . .

"One would assume that if (people) were to go to Christkindlmarket, they'd know it is about Christmas," she said.

Apparently not in Chicago. No matter. I won't bother to attend this year. I'll go see the movie instead.

Still Shooting Himself in the Foot Anyway

Charles Rangel is such an idiot that I'm amazed he managed to avoid military service.

(Hat tip to Janice Walker for the observation.)

Build-A-Bomb and Kill-A-Kid

A joint paratrooper and Shin Bet force uncovered an explosive lab in Nablus Friday night. In the lab, the forces found teddy bears with wires hanging from them, apparently slated to be used as explosive devices.

While it doesn't surprise me that Hamas is constructing toy-like bombs to target children, it never ceases to amaze me that the western media wants to credit them with the moral high ground.

Whether or not one sympathizes with the Palestinian cause (and I'm not entirely unsympathetic, although their repeated refusal to use diplomatic channels reduces their claim on my sympathies,) I consider that the "freedom fighters" who seek to target children have a crippling lack of honor. And, like it or not, that makes them Very Bad Men.

(Hat tip to Best of the Web.)

Beware Your Civic Duty

My mother alerted me to a form of identity theft that swirls around jury duty. Individuals are randomly called, threatened with an arrest warrant for "failing to report for jury duty" and are asked for their SSN and date of birth.

While the threat seems sorta on the older side, I thought it was interesting.

It all boils down to the same thing: never give that sort of information over the phone.

I Like a Clean Brain Myself

In a shocking MTV study, it was revealed that money doesn't buy happiness.

Young people in developing nations are at least twice as likely to feel happy about their lives than their richer counterparts, a survey says.

"The happier young people of the developing world are also the most religious," the survey said.

Poor happy saps. I suppose the joy is a direct result of all that brainwashing.

Earning Her Scarlett Letter

Scarlett Johanssen (who consistently floors me with the descending levels of idiocy displayed in her public life) is so "so 'socially aware' she gets tested for HIV twice a year."

I wonder if her extraordinary levels of "social awareness" will ever prompt her to consider the example she is offering to young girls who might not be so fortunate as to have their partners agent-screened first?

Cloying, Yet Addictive

WCCQ kept me awake during a difficult drive this weekend.

I love country music.

No Body of Evidence

The Granite City abortion clinic has finally been backed into a corner:

Bryant, Ark., Det. Jimmy Long has confirmed it was a photograph provided by the Small Victories ministry across state lines that helped secure a case against suspect Jeffery Cheshier, 41, who had been accused by an underage girl of rape.

Angela Michael said the Granite City clinic is known nationwide because of the circumstances. Its abortionists do late-term abortions and the state of Illinois has no parental notification law.

Generally, the whole picture-taking thing makes me skittish, since a few of the crazies post the photographs to order to dispense vigilante justice, which is wrong, wrong, wrong. However, this incident has caused me to rethink my opinion. I know that Very Bad Men are getting away with Very Bad Things and this is one way of stopping them. So "huzzah" for that.

Restoring Hope

Larry Stewart is the Secret Santa.

A man who has given away millions of dollars and become known as Secret Santa for handing out Christmas cash to the needy is allowing his name to be publicized after 26 years.

But he said every time he hit a low point in his life, someone gave him money, food and hope, and that's why he has devoted his life to returning the favors.

I'm feeling warm fuzzies.

(Hat tip to John Zielinski.)

A Silent Guest

Did anyone hear any hype about For Your Consideration?

I didn't.

If the Description Fits, You Can't Acquit

I've never had much of an opinion on O.J. Simpson, but now I do:

Fox plans to broadcast an interview with O.J. Simpson in which the former football star discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend, for which he was acquitted, the network said . . .

In a video clip on the network's Web site, an off-screen interviewer says to Simpson, "You wrote 'I have never seen so much blood in my life.'"

Is he such a has-been that he feels compelled to descend to such level? It's grotesque. And stupid in the extreme. I didn't follow the case closely enough to have an opinion on the verdict, but now I am forcefully persuaded that he did, indeed, do it.

I presume that many will share my opinion.

Waking From a Deep Freeze

Not to re-inflame the abortion debate, but Ireland has ruled that if a woman freezes embryos, she no longer has any right to them:

Justice Brian McGovern said most agreed frozen embryos resulting from infertility treatment deserved special respect but ruled "the right to life of the unborn" in the Irish constitution did not extend to them . . .

The judgment means spare embryos frozen after successful in vitro fertilization (IVF) in 2002 will not be returned to the mother.

I am empathetic, but not particularly sympathetic. If a women extracts her eggs for IVF, should she have a legal right to them? If she does have a legal right, would that cause problems for women that sell their eggs? Or the people that buy them? What if they change their minds? And what about surrogate mothers? What would be the implications for them?

(And they scoffed at such things coming to pass.)

Strike a Black Cat

I can't even break 100 in Cat Bowling!

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The Life and Death of a Pumpkin

This is a bit behind the season, but it prevented me from carving a pumpkin this year:

They Don't Add Up to 100%

You Are 16% Democrat

If you have anything in common with the Democrat party, it's by sheer chance. You're a staunch conservative, and nothing is going to change that!

Hmm. Those Democrat questions were loaded.

You Are 60% Republican

You aren't a full fledged Republican yet, but it's probably the party that fits you best. You probably consider yourself an independent Republican. You usually support the party, but you also think for yourself!

Those Republican questions were loaded. I think the quizzes were created by a Democrat.

(Hat tip to Lori Donlon.)

Preceded by Gospel Readings

The Nativity Story will premiere at the Vatican.

The Face Bra?

Would you baste your face like a turkey?

Ricky Gervais doesn't need to. Apparently, he has the "perfect face for comedy."

One Child

I am excited about The Nativity Story. I've heard good things.

Slash and Staple

I don't remember where I first saw it, but it's brilliant:

My Election Thoughts

Now that all is said and done, I wanted to share some election thoughts:

First, as cavalier as it may sound, I didn't particularly care about any race in the state of Illinois except for the Roskam/Duckworth race . . . and in that case, my candidate won. I wasn't a Topinka fan and I didn't really care whether Illinois had to endure another four years of the Blagojevich political machine. I'm pretty sure we can expect some tax hikes this time around, though.

Second, from a Republican perspective - there really could be no bad outcome from this election. If the Republicans remained in power, woo-hoo, but a Democratic House/Senate bodes well for the Republicans in 2008. Right now, Republicans don't have any particularly viable candidates for the Presidency, so a couple years of Nancy Pelosi can only help improve their chances to sweep the House, Senate and/or Presidency.

Third, I was disheartened by the outcome of the South Dakota abortion ban vote. I think it bodes ill for our country's ethical base. I was especially disgusted with the voters who do "not like abortion but voted against the measure because it would not allow abortions for rape and incest." Why is a person less entitled to life if he is a product of rape/incest? Does that make them a lesser human being?

Fourth, I was disappointed by the ousting of Rick Santorum, for the same reason that I was disappointed by the defeated abortion ban.

And my final election thought is that George Allen demonstrates quite aptly why I continue to prefer Republican candidates to the snivelling, whimpering Democrats:

Although he could have called for a recount, Allen said he saw "no purpose" in it.

"The people of Virginia have spoken, and I respect their decision.

Bravo, Mr. Allen, for accepting defeat gracefully. What a rarity!

Capturing the "Cultural Heritage"

The United Nations, that august body that always concerns itself with Very Important Things, has decided that there is far too much of the English language on the Internet.

Experts at a UN forum on internet governance warned that the predominant use of English on the worldwide web needs to be checked before it crowds out other languages . . .

“Some 90 per cent of 6000 languages (at use today) are not represented on the internet,” said Yoshinori Imai of NHK, Japan's Broadcasting Corporation.

If I read the article correctly, one of the reasons for this grotesque oversight is that some countries rely heavily on "oral tradition," which I interpret to mean that they . . . don't . . . really . . . keep . . . written . . . records.

Perhaps the U.N. should start small and consider deciphering their own language on the world wide web. Or perhaps we should all start communicating in Obenglobish.

(Best of the Web found this little gem.)

Have We Gone Too Far?

With the Supreme Court poised to hear the legal reasons why doctors should be permitted to suck the brain out of a half-born baby, the Second Look project deserves a . . . er . . . second look.

See the Roe Reality Check.

I love the fact that this "woman's choice" was suggested by the man in the relationship 73% of the time.

Experiment #214

I want 1506 Mentos and 502 liters of Diet Coke!

(Many thanks to Brian Preston.)